Latest on twitter:
- M: When do you think the sun's going to burn out?
- E: I dunno. A million years?
- M: WHAT?
- E: A thousand years?
- M: WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
“things you can or can’t learn on tv” by john espinosa
Oh I’m so getting one of these for my front lawn as SOON as I’m not homeless.
OFF TO THE TREE LIGHTING PARTY AT MY DAD’S OFFICE.
Here’s hoping that flats, understated jewelry and a blazer counteract this ruffly dress I’m insistent on wearing and my way over-tousled hair.
(LOL NO YOU’RE FROM THE AGENCY.)
Lizzie my love, you’re going to pick up so many hot older men at this thing.
NO YOU DON’T CALL ME LIZZIE.
10 am: “I want a new job. I’m going to spend all day writing amazing cover letters!”
11 am: “I missed my train. I’m going to spend these 2 hours researching cover letters!”
12 pm: “I have to finish killing these space aliens on my iPhone. I’ll do SO MUCH WORK when I get home.”
1 pm: “I’m hungry. I’m going to eat 3 lunches and watch Gossip Girl.”
2 pm: “Well, I haven’t even had caffeine yet! I’m going to drink a bunch of chai tea while I see what all my friends are doing on the internet.”
3 pm: ?
The possibilities are endless.
STOP POSTING PICTURES OF SNOW, YOU ASSHOLES.
Some of us are trying to squeeze into bikinis over here.
Possible stocking stuffers for someone. I think so.
If this wasn’t so cute, I would buy it just for the “rock out with your lock out” line.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Marvin Gaye vs Black Grape - Shake your Grapes
This is my favorite mashup ever. It reminds me of driving in the dark at 5 in the morning wearing a bright red shirt.
…and I love it anyway.
HEY THIS IS MY FAVORITE MASHUP I SAID. MAYBE YOU DIDN’T HEAR ME THE FIRST TIME. LISTEN, YOU FOOLS.
